Question for guys and girls of modified WARNING MIGHT GROSS

BainbridgeShred · Post by **BainbridgeShred** » 06 May 2007 18:23

I posted this on another forum where I trust the members a lot more than the people here, but I thought I'd give modified a try too, especially because there are some girls here who might be able to give some good tips. This is a serious topic, please only give serious answers. I understand that this is a topic which could put people off, but I really believe it is suitable for members of all ages and definitely more practical than "How Do You Wash Your" fucking "Clothes?". The only editing I'll accept of this thread is the possible moving of it to the "Arts and Leisure" subforum (Not sure if it is an art or a leisure, you decide) but I wanted it here to get as many views as possible. Thanks everyone. I appreciate it. This is what Arpanet was created for after all anyways, right?

So I'm going to make myself vunerable here for a second. I have never enjoyed eating girls out. I totally understand why black guys aren't down for it. It just grosses me out. When a girl wants to fool around but not fuck, I usually just finger her and then don't use my hands for anything for a week or so, while soaking them in drano.

So, I'm pretty proficient with my hands. But, earlier today I was talking to this girl I met in Mexico on AIM, and she lives on the other side of Washington State, and said she loves getting eaten out (Ew). Of course, she's coming to Seattle in early July, and I have every intention of fufilling her deepest desires.

Practice makes perfect, I know, but for someone not interested in doing a whole lot of practice, where do I begin. I understand every dimension of foreplay pretty well, so I don't need to hear anything about that or about how it's the most important part, but as far as the nuts an bolts of the issue are concerned, I'd pretty appreciate some pointers. I've already scowered AskMen.com but it seems like they always beat around the bush too much without actually geting into the technique aspect very often. Oh, and I know also not to use my tounge like a dog who hasn't see's its owner after a long vacation down there. What I want is where to focus my efforts, what speed to go at (Do I change it up!??????!), and how to finish it out.

Innuendo of "nuts" "pointers" and "bush" unintended. Thanks gentlemen.

BainbridgeShred · Post by **BainbridgeShred** » 06 May 2007 18:24

Oh, and if suddenly Jeremy becauses an Administrator again and deletes this topic or something, PM's are welcomed. Thanks cool cats.

shredzilla · Post by **shredzilla** » 06 May 2007 18:28

W. T. F.

david · Post by **david** » 06 May 2007 18:28

When you get under the covers to do the deed, swap your tounge for the wet beef jerky slab you've had in your pocket all night. Get artsy. She'll never know.

QuantumBalance · Post by **QuantumBalance** » 06 May 2007 18:33

my hero.. mr clavens

i guess since Mox didnt let me post [Mod Edit: Inappropriate link. -Moxie] then this probably isnt the best place for this topic either?

maybe try pming some cool people instead of just posting it

dunno

PegLegHolly · Post by **PegLegHolly** » 06 May 2007 18:50

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

david clavens seems to have the right idea

Iron Clad Ben · Post by **Iron Clad Ben** » 06 May 2007 18:54

Have you done a search anywhere else on the web? There is lots of info about how to do it right, but yes lots of bad info too. Askmen.com is a totally stupid site. They don't know anything, and the good information they do have is usually ripped off of somewhere else.

Footbag hornball #1 aka MarvlMan showed me clitical.com a while ago which is a really good site. Here is their article on goin' south.

http://www.clitical.com/how-to/lick.php

I'll PM you some more info. I'd like to think if cunnilingus were footbag I'd be Lon Smith, or perhaps Big Add Chad.

Tsiangkun · Post by **Tsiangkun** » 06 May 2007 19:07

I have a three step program

1) Download porn from the internet

2) Observe technique

3) Reproduce technique

brian relly · Post by **brian relly** » 06 May 2007 19:08

colclough gave me a bunch of tips when I was like 13.

brinard · Post by **brinard** » 06 May 2007 19:15

just ask the girl what she likes. its not rocket science or brain surgery, unless you just suck at having good sex.

nevermind, its modified.

good luck with that, and stick your nose in it.

BainbridgeShred · Post by **BainbridgeShred** » 06 May 2007 19:37

Hahahaha nine messages in a single hour.

just ask the girl what she likes. its not rocket science or brain surgery, unless you just suck at having good sex.

Yeah right, I'm not going to ask her what she likes. That isn't my style at all.

& fyi eye rock @ teh fuck1ng

colclough gave me a bunch of tips when I was like 13.

don't hold out colclough!

PegLegHolly · Post by **PegLegHolly** » 06 May 2007 20:00

BainbridgeShred wrote: & fyi eye rock @ teh fuck1ng

if you rock, then why are you asking for help?

BainbridgeShred · Post by **BainbridgeShred** » 06 May 2007 20:17

didnt i already fucking explain it bitch? ive gone down on like 4 girls in my entire life, and honestly cant say if they faked it or not. i have no problem sticking my penis or fingers or even toes up there, but i dont like eating girls pussies out. period point blank simple.

PegLegHolly · Post by **PegLegHolly** » 06 May 2007 20:32

whatever, dan fearey. youre pathetic.

QuantumBalance · Post by **QuantumBalance** » 06 May 2007 20:45

lol this is bad!

edit: I honestly dont know if I gave SB tips or not...

acxel22 · Post by **acxel22** » 06 May 2007 20:47

BainbridgeShred wrote:& fyi eye rock @ teh fuck1ng

shredzilla · Post by **shredzilla** » 06 May 2007 21:07

BainbridgeShred wrote:didnt i already fucking explain it bitch? ive gone down on like 4 girls in my entire life, and honestly cant say if they faked it or not. i have no problem sticking my penis or fingers or even toes up there, but i dont like eating girls pussies out. period point blank simple.

Ahh, that rehab's just a distant memory now. Never got to the 8th step huh? Well, we all knew that would never happen. It's hilarious when I say 'oh this is just Dan blowing smoke up everyone's ass', again, and it's even more hilarious when everyone buys it.

Probably sometime over the summer you'll get locked up again, this time in real jail. Eventually you'll have to do a few years in prison. Oh well, that's the life of Dan the dumbass Feary!

BainbridgeShred · Post by **BainbridgeShred** » 06 May 2007 21:14

Why Holly, why am I pathetic? What did I do to merit insultion? I said at the start that I was making myself vunerable here, and my lack of skill with my tounge is something I am somewhat embarassed about, but I am taking measures to change. Am I pathetic because I am willing to ask a forum of strangers (Some not strangers) for help in this particuliar area? Is this any different than a noobie asking for help on ATW's? Is it that much different because society attaches stupid symbolism's to sexual acts, when really, the one being discussed here has no negative consequences for society, unlike intercourse which may produce unwanted children? Am I pathetic because I called you dirty names? I'll admit that was low and unnecisary, but just because a topic I made makes you feel uncomfortable doesn't mean you have to be snooty with me. Other people have been very helpful in responding here and sending me PM's. I specified that I only wanted serious answers here, and you are yet to give a single one! Again, I shouldn't have called you a bitch. You aren't one, and in fact I think highly of you. If you have anything to add to this discussion, please include it. Otherwise go find other threads to post in that don't make you uncomfortable enough to act like a grade schooler.

BainbridgeShred · Post by **BainbridgeShred** » 06 May 2007 21:22

Ahh, that rehab's just a distant memory now. Never got to the 8th step huh? Well, we all knew that would never happen. It's hilarious when I say 'oh this is just Dan blowing smoke up everyone's ass', again, and it's even more hilarious when everyone buys it.

Probably sometime over the summer you'll get locked up again, this time in real jail. Eventually you'll have to do a few years in prison. Oh well, that's the life of Dan the dumbass Feary!

I'd like to include that my most recent post above was posted before reading Shredzilla's post. You're right that I was wrong to act that way I did to Holly. I shouldn't have done it. It was uncalled for. It was not helpful to me, my recovery, or anyone else on this forums sake of peacefulness. Like I said, I reacted that way because this is a topic I am making myself vunerable in, and when people are vunerable, they tend to react negatively to the slightest of offenses.

On the other hand, I was man enough to apologize not only to the entire community when I came out of rehab, but again to Holly after I wronged her and called her stupid names that don't even apply to the type of person that she is. You on the other hand Chris, are still trying to bring me down. Fortuneatly, it hasn't worked for you yet, and you are still refraining from apologizing to any of the people you have hurt on here.

I never said that I would be a Saint since I'm sober. If anything, I'm likely to act more like a dick in certain situations, being that I have nothing to fall back on. Some times I get stressed out and want to go drink a fifth and do a gram of blow, but I haven't yet, and I keep telling myself that I wont until I go to bed tonight. Tomorrow will be the same thing; occupying myself in positive ways until I fall asleep; peaceful and glad for another day of sobriety. I am a natural smart-ass and I was born with a big mouth. Sometimes I have a short fuse and angry disposistion. There are no rehabilitation center's for that. It is something I will have to work on by my own accords, and hopefully one day I will be able to be at total serenity with myself.

I am not blowing smoke up anyone's ass.

shredzilla · Post by **shredzilla** » 06 May 2007 21:23

BainbridgeShred wrote:Why Holly, why am I pathetic?

Yep, you're pathetic for all those reasons, and probably thousands more. You probably don't even wipe your ass right, you're just Dan. Dan the dumbass! You're pathetic because you don't even care about footbag. You're just bored. Because you're too f*ckin st st stupid to entertain yourself. So you have to drag the forum into your pathetic bullsh*t that no one cares about. No one cares about YOU Dan. They just think it's funny to play along with the gay bad-boy image that you try so desperately to portray.

You really think this is a 'positive way to spend time til you fall asleep', by publicly asking a footbag forum how to eat p*ssy? I'll tell you what to eat Dan. Go suck on a 9mm and pull the trigger, one less f*ckin half breed idiot in the world.