Jeremy

[King Monkey]

Bloodninja: I lick your earlobe, and undo your watch.
Sarah19fca: mmmm, okay.
Bloodninja: I take yo pants off, grunting like a troll.
Sarah19fca: Yeah I like it rough.
Bloodninja: I smack you thick booty.
Sarah19fca: Oh yeah, that feels good.
Bloodninja: Smack, Smack, yeeeaahhh.
Bloodninja: I make some toast and eat it off your ass. Land O' Lakes butter all in your crack. Mmmm.
Sarah19fca: you like that?
Bloodninja: I peel some bananas.
Sarah19fca: Oh, what are you gonna do with those?
Bloodninja: get me peanuts. Peanuts from the ballpark.
Sarah19fca: Peanuts?
Bloodninja: Ken Griffey Jr. Yeaaaaahhh.
Sarah19fca: What are you talking about?
Bloodninja: I'm spent, I jump down into the alley and smoke a fatty. I throw rocks at the cats.
Sarah19fca: This is stupid.
Bloodninja: Stone Cold Steve Austin gives me some beer.
Bloodninja: Wanna Wrestle Stone Cold?
Bloodninja: Yeeaahhhh.
Sarah19fca: /ignore
Bloodninja: Its cool stone cold she was a bitch anyway.
Bloodninja: We get on harleys and ride into the sunset.

---------------

Bloodninja: Wanna cyber?
DirtyKate: K, but don't tell anybody
DirtyKate: Who are you?
Bloodninja: I've got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot
Bloodninja: And I have a part time job delivering for Papa John's in my Geo Storm.
DirtyKate: You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the back of your car..
Bloodninja: Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa John's and make an order
DirtyKate: Haha! OK
DirtyKate: Hello! I'd like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with sauce.
Bloodninja: Well, first they would say, "Hello, this is Papa John's, how may I help you", then they tell you the specials, and then you would make your order. So that's an X-Large. What toppings do you want?
DirtyKate: I want everything, baby!
Bloodninja: Is this a delivery?
DirtyKate: Umm...Yes
DirtyKate: So you're bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I'm home alone... and I think I'll take a shower...
Bloodninja: Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I'll drive to your house.
**pause**
DirtyKate: I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up!
Bloodninja: You can't hurry good pizza.
Bloodninja: I'm on my way now though
**pause**
DirtyKate: So you're at my front door now.
Bloodninja: How did you know?
Bloodninja: I knock but you can't hear me cause you're in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on your coffee table.
Bloodninja: Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I'm as hot as a pizza oven
DirtyKate: ooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I'm all wet and cold. Warm me up baby
Bloodninja: So you're still in the bathroom?
DirtyKate: Yeah, I'm wrapping a towel around myself.
Bloodninja: I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door....
DirtyKate: What the fuck?
DirtyKate: You perverted piece of shit
DirtyKate: Fuck

------------------

Bloodninja: Wanna cyber?
MommyMelissa: Sure, you into vegetables?
Bloodninja: What like gardening an shit?
MommyMelissa: Yeah, something like that.
Bloodninja: Nuthin turns me on more, check this out
Bloodninja: You bend over to harvest your radishes.
(pause)
MommyMelissa: is that it?
Bloodninja: You water your tomato patch.
Bloodninja: Are you ready for my fresh produce?
MommyMelissa: I was thinking of like, sexual acts INVOLVING vegetables... Can you make it a little more sexy for me?
(pause)
Bloodninja: I touch you on your lettuce, you massage my spinach... Sexily.
Bloodninja: I ride your buttocks, like they were amber waves of grains.
MommyMelissa: Grain doesn't really turn me on... I was thinking more along the lines of carrots and zucchinis.
Bloodninja: my zucchinis carresses your carrots.
Bloodninja: Damn baby your right, this shit is HOT.
MommyMelissa: ...
Bloodninja: My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love.
MommyMelissa: What the fuck is this madlibs? I'm outta here.
Bloodninja: Yah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see. Bitch.
MommyMelissa: whatever.

-------

bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
BritneySpears14: Aight.
bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
bloodninja: Me too baby.
BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
bloodninja: I cast Lvl 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
BritneySpears14: Hey...
bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl 8 Penis of the Infinite.
BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty of the Beyondness.
BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
bloodninja: Don't fuck with me biznitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl 2 Druid.
BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece.
bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
bloodninja: Baby?

----------------

bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you.
j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.
bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go.
j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.
bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.
j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.
j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.
j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They fucking charge your ass.
j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious.
bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.
bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.
j_gurli3: thats it.
bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.
bloodninja: Fuck am I hard now.

-------------

[Asmus]

I don't think I have ever laughed so much from reading something on the internet.

Got more of these?

[Jeremy]

-------

bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
BritneySpears14: Aight.
bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
bloodninja: Me too baby.
BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
bloodninja: I cast Lvl 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
BritneySpears14: Hey...
bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl 8 Penis of the Infinite.
BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty of the Beyondness.
BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
bloodninja: Don't fuck with me biznitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl 2 Druid.
BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece.
bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
bloodninja: Baby?

BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?
eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready.
BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee.
eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.
BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.
BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.
eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: What the f*ck, I told you not to message me again.
eminemBNJA: Oh $#!%
BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you f*ck up.
eminemBNJA: Oh $#!%
eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something

[Jeremy]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SpJfWOWkB2Q


Video of Mike Huckabee supporters. SOOOO funny. I lolzed hard.

Also probably just because of the little girls accent. It wouldn't have mattered what she was saying, I still would have lolzed.

[Jeremy]

Hey so I'm a very active member of the Secular Party of Australia, a new political party aimed at reducing the influence of religious beliefs on politics.

Today I'm proud to announce that I've implemented positive policy change, something nobody else has achieved yet.

I think I'm greatly helped by the fact that as far as I can see, I'm the only party member who has had significant involvement with other political parties, and indeed most of my friends are involved in politics these days, so I think despite being one of the youngest members (and indeed one of the only members who is not a professor of science; one of our leaders is literally a rocket scientists too) I'm also one of the most experienced


I changed our policy on nuclear power from being pro nuclear to awaiting more evidence on the economic and environmental impacts of nuclear power, which I really think is the most rational position to have. (I'm anti nuclear, but I'm aware of conflicting evidence and I'm not completely sure nuclear power could not be a positive thing, especially since a few respectable scientists, including our rocket scientist support it).



Time spent in the IFPA trying to update the rules from rules that are not used anywhere to rules that are used everywhere; 2 years and failed.


Time spent in the SPA trying to update the policy away from the position held by all the leaders; 2 months and succeeded.

Admittedly, I had people willing to help me out on the second one, which does make a big difference.

[Just call me hagesy]

Jeremy, you are a cool cat. Annnnnddddddddddddd SSSSSSSSMMMMAAAArter than the average bear

But i don't know if thats a compliment because i dont know how smart bears are.

I think the polar bear that is the mascot of bundy rum would be pretty smart. Because he has hooked up a deal which gets him free rum when he wants it. And he can get hot human girls whenever he wants. I have never understood why the pretty girls go for him. i would of thought beastiality would stop them, but there are some dirty, dirty,dirty girls out their looking for new thrills it seems.

[Jeremy]

[Jeremy]

Awkward moments; You're at a music gig chatting up a cute girl. Suddenly the lead singer of the band playing, in the middle of a song, who is also a cute girl, recognises you and addresses you from the stage. Hitting on a girl is one thing, hitting on a girl with a crowd watching you...

Although I am proud to say that today I drunk beer to help orphans in Africa, so good on me You know, usually I wouldn't do it, but since it was for a good cause...

[max]

Although I am proud to say that today I drunk beer to help orphans in Africa, so good on me You know, usually I wouldn't do it, but since it was for a good cause...

you usually wouldn't drink beer ... or help children in Africa?

[Jeremy]

Drink beer. I help African orphans all the time...

[Jeremy]

Word. So I made a short video of myself playing footbag I only filmed for a little bit because I was a little drunk so I had to find a few clips from large collection of unused footage to fill in time for the video Still I guess it's ok. It's probably the last time I'll put out a footbag video of myself, at least until next summer at the earliest, so cherish it You can probably tell that I've played less than 10 times in the last year too I guess. I think there are also 2 the moves (a flip barfly and the first pixie fusion) but the quality of the vid is low enough that you can't really tell Sorry anyway, I would have cut them out but I couldn't really be bothered.


So there we have it;

Still Alive;

http://www.footbag.org/gallery/show/-13787

[gatapia]

Great vid mate,

Your still super fast, were those sailing taps or just taps? Big apple = cool. Your shuffle is still great.

Shame it was a little to dark, shame about the Kev07 shirt also but apart from that, that was really enjoyable, laughed at the song and 30 sec intro.

Guido

[Jeremy]

Cheers

yeah they were pixie taps

Also did you see what big business thinks of the Howard government now? Only the religious right still supports him.

[Just call me hagesy]

its a damn shame your not coming to nats jezzamezza. we would have had good times smashing down imported beers.

But i to have not showed up to nats last year and maybe the year before, so i cannot say much for fear of being labelled a hypocrite and beaten to a pulp.

[Jeremy]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cQ9sJVJMiYM

So good. There's a great story to this video too.

The Irish Atheists managed to buy the domain name of the Irish Catholics when it expired, and they put up that video;

http://www.catholic.ie/

Pretty hilarious.

[Jeremy]

Awesome day, I have to brag about it

Well the start was normal; uni going ok. I had a large debate in my psychology study group about what science is. Psychology has rightly moved into the science department fairly recently, which is because all the real progress made in the subject has been by scientists, whatever Dan Ednie will try and tell you, and the psychology fraternity has come to realise that is a science (one only needs to look at the most famous psychologists of the last few decades to see this). Unfortunately most of the people who study it are art students, and don't know what science is, or why psychology is considered a science. So today we were supposed to answer the question; "How does psychology differ from 'traditional science.'" Of course the answer is that it doesn't, but because it's such a recent science, while 'traditional sciences' are a few hundred years old, people learn the history of science before they learn what's actually going on in science, and so everybody were comparing modern day psychology with Newtonian physics, "Darwinism," and Bohr etc. I pointed out how old those things were, and how when they were first brought up they were seen in much the same light as much of psychology is seen (ie. uncertainty as to what is actually right, vigorous debate etc. ) but at least at my university it's definitely an arts subject trying to be a science, but lacking any understanding of what science is.

Anyway, after university I went along to a Republican movement cocktail party, hosted at parliament house. In Australia the Republican Movement is nothing like the American Republican movement, which should be self evident, but I have a very strong impression that most of the Americans on this forum think people always relate things to America (A few days ago somebody asked me; "Who would you vote for in the upcoming election?" Of course I figured out which election they meant because they were American, but if anybody else asked me that question I would have assumed they were either talking about an election that I get to vote in, or the elections that are closer to the time I'm being asked. Considering the Russian election was only 2 days away from that date when I was asked, it's easy to see where the stereotypes of Americans come from.

The Republican Movement in Australia is the movement to make Australia a republic, and have an Australian as our head of state, instead of the Queen. Charles Wooley, was the guest speaker, and he was hilarious, but also very inspiring. It was also hosted by a local politician, who I get along very well with, and I was invited to have dinner at parliament with Jeremy Rockliff, who is a great guy, but also deputy leader of the opposition for the enemy party (the Liberal Party, which is I guess like the US Republican party in terms of our two party system). I'll definitely take up that offer

It was pretty motivating stuff, and I was glad to be involved. Also I had my photo taken for the local paper with Nick McKim who is the deputy leader of the Greens, and also a cool guy.

There was also free food and alcohol, so it's pretty lucky I didn't make a disgrace of myself I guess . I'm a student now, getting pissed for free is something I can't turn down.

[Jeremy]

Wow, so get this, we just had a power blackout while I was in the middle of writing the below post, and when I rebooted my computer, Firefox had saved the entire post Awesome.

Original Post
----


So I'm currently reading The Stupid Country; How Australia is Dismantling Public Education by Chris Bonnor and Jane Caro. Jane Caro is a media advisor to the Secular Party of Australia (the political party I'm heavily involved in). While the book is probably fairly meaningless to most people on this forum, I wouldn't to share the following excerpt.

----

When Merrlands High School resumed after summer holidays, post-Cronulla, a fight broke out between two students, one from a Tongan and the other from a Middle-Eastern background. At first nothing much was thought of it, then the effects of this fight began to snowball.

Students within the school, and people outside it - both adult and adolescent - began to take sides according to ethnicity, something that had never happened before. Mobile phone calls were made recruiting allies. Kids who were not students began turning up at the school and the police had to be alerted. The strife went on for days.

The Principle watched her contented school community crumble before her eyes. She and her staff attempted to calm things down. They redoubled their already well-established anti-racist, anti-violence programs; parents volunteered to come in to the school to do mediation and extra playground duty; and an ex-student who was training to be a religious minister turned up one day to see what he could do to help. But nothing worked.

Tensions continued to grow, students were set upon outside the school, rumours were flying, and Middle-Eastern students and Tongan students - the two largest ethnic groups in the school - were spoiling for a fight.

Then two year 12 students who were best mates - Seff, a Lebanese-Australian, and Siaosi, a Tongan-Australian - decided that enough was enough. As Seff put it, 'Merrylands High is our second family, so why do we have trouble here?' They gathered a group of students from opposite sides together: three Tongans, three Lebanese and a Turkish boy. Then they went to see the Principle. They asked her to call a school assembly. They had one condition - that no teachers be present.

Principle Mularczyk was anxious. But despite her serious misginvings she gave the students permission as long as the school's anti-racism officer be permitted to sit at the back. The boys agreed, and Seff and Siosa announced the assembly to the school community with the words, 'We're gonna talk about the troubles.'

Every student attended.

At the assembly, Seff and Siaosi talked about their close friendship and how much it mattered to them. Then they asked the original two combatants to talk about how the trouble began, and the reasons behind the original fight. The two boys aired their grievances, and agreed to shake hands.

Seff and Siaosi noticed that all the students were sitting in ethnically divided groups, so they asked them to get up, move around, and mix. Then they asked all the students, including the two who had previously been sworn enemies, to hug one another. Every student complied.

They talked about racism directly. 'We're all in Australia,' they said. 'Australia is a peaceful country.' By this time a casual teacher who had not realised that no staff were to be present, and found herself an accidental witness, was in tears.

[Sporatical_Distractions]

I couldn't stop laughing throughout bloodninja's journey through cyberspace

[bigdirtyfoot]

Hey man - cool video. The music was a lot chiller than your older music, which I liked. Pixie taps were nice too - I don't see much of those in videos, but maybe I've been missing it or something, since I've been away for a long while.

Glad to read about the Secular Party of Australia - that seems pretty impressive. Wish we had one in the good ole do nothin wrong US of A. How big/active is the group?

[Jeremy]

Cheers dude

The secular party has about 450 members at the moment, but we're growing. We only formed in 2006.


I've been reading the best book, and I need to pimp it. I'm only 60 pages in, and already it's one of my favourite books. It's Psychogeography by Will Self (illustrated by Ralph Steadman) and it's really just a collection of his column for the Independent. He's very gonzo and very transgressional, but also an amazing writer, far more skilled a writer than people like Chuck Palahnuik, or Hunter S Thompson, and at least as equally skilled as Bret Easton Ellis. Actually I'd define him as the perverted offspring of Christopher Hitchens and Hunter S T. Tomorrow I'm going to walk into town and buy every book of his I can find (which may be none, since it's a public holiday, and I'm not sure which shops will be open).

You can probably read the entire book online here;

http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/co ... will-self/

I wanted to share this extract;

"I've taken to long-distance walking as a means of dissolving the mechanised matrix which compresses the space-time continuum, and decouples human from physical geography. So this isn't walking for leisure - that would be merely frivolous, or even for exercise - which would be tedious. No, to underscore the seriousness of my project, I like a walk which takes me to a meeting or an assignment; that way I can drag other people into my eotechnical world view. 'How was your journey?' they say. 'Not bad,' I reply. 'Take long?' they enquire. 'About ten hours,' I admit. 'I walked here.'"