Fanzine

[Senor Grommet]

For about a year now, I thought that the hardest footbag move that had ever been hit was chainsaw massacre. I cant even believe that you hit it paradox! That is absolutely insane and I NEED to see video! Was it super clean? I can't believe it.

[brian relly]

What is Chainsaw Massacre? I can't find it on any of the moves lists.

[brian relly]

edit: I found it, but I can't see how a Paradox Chainsaw Massacre would work. Paradox Bubba? Nuclear? If it was a nuclear set, then the Eggbeater wouldn't be paradox.

[wolfpac444]

Paradox Chainsaw Massacre ( Paradox Illusioning Symp Eggbeater )

Clip >> Same Out > (SYMP) Op Out > Op Out > Same Toe

[C-Fan]

What is Chainsaw Massacre? I can't find it on any of the moves lists.

While I don`t mind people posting in my blog (corrections, comments about the blog), this sort of thing can and should be asked somewhere else.

Thanks.

[hacksterbator]

ken, erik will be getting his little gift tomorrow night. i have a plan, and will make it almost the same way you would have given it to him, only completely different...

[C-Fan]

Right, paradox CHAINSAW massacre. My bad, I was a little tired and drunk when I was writing that. Vasek had hit that trick before. Seb`s was way clean and very controlled. It was cool, he kinda did a homer `woo hoo!` after hitting it, and then continued with a string.

Andrew: let me know how the gift-giving goes. I will mention the original plan in my blog later.

[Muffinman]

Thanks Ken!!!!

[Muffinman]

(It won't let me edit my post even as a mod...)
Did you make it???

(For those of you out of the loop: http://www.hackrifice.com/marita/040211-poopoo.wmv -- I had my christmas tree up until, like, March...)

[C-Fan]

So here`s the deal.

I`ve got nothing to do at work for the next week or so, so Im taking my time writing a real long log about my experiences at worlds. Im writing this in my real (paper and pen) journal, and once I finish with that, I will write a similar one on the internet. I`m taking my time with it, but it will get online. Just wanted to explain why I haven`t said much about worlds yet.

I also intend to post my critique of worlds around the same time.

So you can stop calling me and e-mailing me all the time asking me where my Worlds Report is. Yes, this means you, Jonathan Schneider.

[C-Fan]

Glad you got the gift Erik!

Explanation: Going to Worlds, I was really excited not just to see old friends (I hadn`t gone back to the American continent in 2 years), but also to meet a bunch of Moddies from the internet. I`ve always enjoyed watching Erik`s videos, and appreciated that he posts them online, but I also really enjoyed making fun of the fact that his Christmas tree appeared in (what seemed like) every video from November-March. It got to the point where when he would post a video without the X-mas tree, I would post something like:

`That Fury BSOS was pretty cool... but where was the X-mas tree?!?!`

I dated a grade-school teacher for 8 months last year, and around x-mas (which isnt celebrated in Japan), she gave me a cute little x-mas tree made out of a spray-painted pinecone, beads, a dairy-creamer cup, and a gold star. She had made a bunch of them with her students as a class project. Immediately upon receiving it, I thought it would make a funny gift for Erik, so I told her about it, and she thought my plan was funny, and so she was cool with me giving it to Erik.

When I got to worlds, Erik wasn`t there, which was really disappointing, considering I had a plan worked out and everything to give it to him. My plan was like this:

I was going to hop into a circle with Erik, introduce myself, and shred for a few minutes in the circle. Then I would say: `this is so cool! It`s like I`m shredding with you in one of your videos!`. Then after a couple more minutes, I`d be like: `but somethings not quite right... it doesnt feel like I`m REALLY playing with Erik Chan.....hmmmm.`

Then I`d bust out the little x-mas tree, set it up behind him when he was busting a run, and say: `NOW I`m playing with Erik Chan.`

Hmmm..... maybe I should get a life...

Anyway, Andrew said he was going to give you the gift in the same manner. How did it go?

[hacksterbator]

yeah, ken i was gonna say, "erik, you know it's gonna be odd to sit through footage with out THIS on the right hand side!" and put it into the camera frame, but i ended up just putting it beside him as he sat and switched tapes...

[Muffinman]

Hahaha.
That's so awesome, Ken!! Thanks so much. I love it! It's sitting on an old revolution (cause it can't stand on it's own) by my computer. The story makes it a lot cooler! I was actually on the phone, too, when I received the tree but I knew instantly what it was and explained it to my girlfriend when she asked why I was making excited noises.
Thanks again, Ken!
I hope to finally meet you some day...

Here's another picture to keep in the spirit of the season:

[Outsider]

So you can stop calling me and e-mailing me all the time asking me where my Worlds Report is. Yes, this means you, Jonathan Schneider.

Um, I'm a bit confused...

I don't recall sending you any e-mails lately. I'm pretty certain that I've never made a phone call to Japan (though I did see somebody the other day with a "Mr. Sparkle" T-shirt, reminding me of the time your avatar called Japan "May I see the phone book for Hokiado, Japan, please?", "He looks okay, but he's being burned internally", "Fugu!")

Or was it sarcasm? Are you in fact upset because I have neglected to e-mail you? I'm so confused...

[C-Fan]

Right, so actually I was just joking about people clamoring for me to write a worlds report. Anyway, to make the joke work, I needed to insert a random name, so I picked Jon`s, cause he my homie. Sorry for the confusion.

Anyway, I told myself I`d take a few weeks off footbag after worlds...but I lied to myself. Fucking addiction. So I was just messing around on Friday, playing in baggy shorts, and I was pleasantly surprised to do a nice length run which included smear, pdx egg, ducking butterfly, pixie butterfly, pdx whirl, and nearly torque all BS in OS. I also hit reverse swirling pick up for the first time, and hit a few of those, which were real fun.

Ive also taken to wearing my old, beat-to-hell lavers around town on my bike rides. So sometimes I will just do a few tricks while waiting to meet friends. Yesterday, I hit reverse swirl to blender, which I was real stoked about, just cause I think it`s a super styly combo, and I dont usually blender on that side.

Like last week, no classes at work. So hopefully I can get up my Worlds 2004 report up by Friday.

[Outsider]

Sorry I messed up your joke. I was just suspicious that maybe somebody was spoofing my name or address or something. I know almost nothing about how that stuff works, or computer security and stuff, and I have a little bit of paranoia (just because you're paranoid doesn't mean that they're not really out to get you), so... I was just checking. Also, I usually have alot of confidence in my memory, and when I thought that I might have e-mailed you to ask about Worlds or something, but had no recollection of this whatsoever, well, I was worried about that possibility too. Maybe you should just choose somebody else to make your jokes work. I don't resent you're using my name at all, I'm just a little too high-strung for it, thats all. Damn I want to come visit Japan...

[C-Fan]

Yesterday I had my second session since I got back to Japan. My stamina was low, so I didn`t really do any long runs, but I did manage to hit 4 new (to me) 5s! Cant recall the last time I did that in a session. So anyway, I was concentrating on doing hard ducking-dexing moves.

Before yesterday I had hit both vertigos, both tomahawks, both hatchets, mind bender, and ducking pdlo. But I thought to myself, how some of those tricks would be harder with a dive instead of a duck. So I managed to hit:

diving pdlo
diving pdx drifter (both sides!)
and
diving blender!

I was especially excited about diving blender and diving pdx drifter. The latter especially feels cool... very Eli Piltzy.

Oh, and Im nearly done with my worlds journal, so I should start posting that on my blog real soon. Woot!

[C-Fan]

Finally, my blog about Worlds 2004. This will be long, so it will likely be spaced out over several entries. Also, some of the events I describe may have actually occurred on different days, because memory is like that. But as long as it reads well, who cares. Without further ado...

Worlds 2004! aka: how I spent my summer vacation

What can I say? Worlds 99 was special cause it was my first worlds. Worlds 00 was aight. And Worlds 03 was awesome for its parties, and for the historic fact that it was the first worlds not on the American continent. But I was particularly excited about Worlds 2004 on several levels.

The weeks leading up to it only heightened my excitement. Tokyo Shredder Gathering II improved my confidence in how I compete, and Team Japan looked sharp, which was a good sign for worlds. Masa was on point getting the Team Japan t-shirts made, and I was getting ready to see friends I hadn`t seen in 2 years. On top of this, a nagging, serious cough had kept me from playing for 3 weeks, so while my stamina was down, I had a burning desire to play.

The day before departure I went down to Tokyo and went on a date to get pumped up for the trip. I played some pool and scratched on the 8 ball all 3 games, which I saw as me using up all my bad-luck ahead of time. I saw Spiderman 2 and was inspired. I ate at my favorite burger joint, and I woke up the next day feeling ready for worlds. Bring it on!

I ate my last true Japanese meal for the next 2 weeks (vegetable tempura on rice) then met up with the rest of Team Japan at Shinjuku station. To my relief, I`m not the last to arrive. I hadn`t seen anybody since TSG2, and I hadn`t seen Henmo since last year`s Japanese Footbag Champs, so I exchange some excited hellos with everybody. I get to see the Team Japan t-shirts for the first time, and I`m very impressed. The fabric looks like its good to shred in, and the team logo design that I designed came out better than I could have hoped for.

It`s blazing hot, so I borrow Yusuke`s sensu (Japanese fan) and stand back for a second taking in the sight of Team Japan. In total, 8 of us were going to worlds, and for some of Team Japan, it was their first time going abroad. I feel a mix of emotions; my own excitement about worlds, my happiness to be going on a trip with friends, my pride at how fast and far the Japanese footbag scene has progressed, and the desire to run all the way to the airport cause I can`t wait. Finally Taishi shows up, and we`re off.

On the train ride to the airport I sit next to Kim, and catch up with Henmo, who I hadn`t seen in ages. He`s written up a list of his Shred 30, as well as his routine with all the moves on it. I give everybody some basic tips on doing routines, basically telling them to take it easy, have fun, show the judges and audience you are having fun, etc. I explain to them how they can adjust the difficulty of their routine if they have a high seed (intermediate seeds were random) in their pool, and they know how many drops the preceding competitors had. But overall, I try to assuage Henmo`s nervousness, and just get everybody psyched. It`s really not hard at all, considering we are all jumping out of our skins with excitement.

While waiting to check in at the airport, Yusuke uses a magic marker to add a dot to a poster of people`s dancing silhouettes, so it looks like a guy is doing a clipper. I hit a smog in my cargo shorts and walking shoes. Our footbag energy is irrepressible. On the plane we learn that some of us are seated apart from each other, but in my case I don`t mind, because I always sleep on planes. I wake up in Newark Airport.

It`s my first time in 2 years being back on the American continent.

To my amazement, they make us go through customs, even though it`s just a 3 hour layover until Montreal. I`d forgotten how militarily paranoid America is. I get separated from Team Japan because I have an American passport. When I finally reach the customs desk, there`s a family of Japanese people in front of me who are in the wrong line. They speak no English, and the customs agent starts yelling at them that they are in the wrong line. They look cowed, since in Japan airport workers would never yell at you. I step in and explain to them in Japanese they need to get on the other line.

I get through customs and finally make it to my gate, reuniting with Team Japan. When I pass through the metal detector, it beeps. This strikes me as strange, since it didn`t beep in Japan (I later learn that America has much more sensitive detectors), and I didn`t steal any cutlery on the plane. I`m cooperative and polite, but the security people are asses to me. They pass the detector over one of my cargo pockets and it beeps. `Could it be the zipper?` I wonder aloud. `Shut up. We`ll do the thinking here.`

Inside my pocket we discover the culprit: a condom. Apparently the foil in the wrapper set off the alarm. The security worker makes a big deal waving it around, but seems to lose interest when I don`t get embarassed.

I rejoin a puzzled Team Japan who has been watching the whole time, and explain to them why I took so long. I`ve been back in the States for an hour, and I already can`t wait to leave. I never liked Jersey.

I help Team Japan exchange some money, and we finally settle down and eat some food. Things like Snapple and Brisk excite me, since I hadn`t had them in so long. I take a lot of joy in recommending my favorite foods to Team Japan.

The plane we take to Montreal is a small one, and we`re all tired, but we can taste how close to Montreal we are. The flight is blissfully short, and I take the last of my antibiotics as we begin our descent. Montreal unfolds below us, a beautiful field of electric flowers. As Kim and I marvel at how pretty Montreal is at night, the captain points out that there is a fireworks competition going on over the river. We turn our heads and sure enough, massive spheres of greens and blues periodically blossom over the St. Lawrence. It`s strange not to hear them, yet beautiful to see them so small and 3 dimensional. The magic of the moment makes me even more excited about Worlds, if thats possible.

More soon...

[mosher]

I hope you don't mind me pitching in my thoughts, but I just wanted to say that it is so amazing to read these stories and know who the people are that you are describing.

I met a number of team japan and got to shred with them several times. I loved how we could play around and speak to eachother without words, we had footbag as our universal language.

Thanks for bringing Team Japan, including yourself of course to Canada, I am so glad I got the chance to meet you all!

I eagerly await the continuation of your story.

[C-Fan]

I totally don`t mind comments in the blog, as long as they`re relevant.

Anyway, back to the blog.

So we get to the Canadian customs desk around 11pm, and immediately the vibe feels different from the States. There is no separate line for Canadians, and the airport staff that tells you which customs line to stand in are friendly. Some of them even say a few words in Japanese to Team Japan! Before being assigned to separate customs lines, Kim and I note that two of the customs agents are real pretty girls, whereas the last custom agent (a young guy) looked real surly, like he hated his job. We both hope for one of the pretty girls, and Kim gets in one of those lines. I get the mean-looking customs agent. I resolve to try and use French the whole time, cause I need the practice.

Things seem off to a bad start when my `bon soir` is met with him turning his back and leaving to check on something, and then coming back and (without even looking at me) drones in English: `purpose of your visit.` Undaunted, I say in French: `I`m here to compete in the world championships of hackey (aki).`
`Quoi?`
`Do you know <hackey sack>?`
With a growing grin on his face: `yes...`
`Yeah, world champs of that.`
`So are you one of the best in the world?` he asks in an amused voice.
I tell him that I took 11th place last year. There`s a pause as he looks over my passport. Seeking to keep his good graces, I offer up that last year, a guy from Montreal took 3rd place.
`Who took first?`
`A high school student from the Czech Republic.`
`Where is this tournament?`
`At the Rialto Theater, Saturday night. You should check it out.`
He chuckles, then waves me through with a smile.

Go footbag!

Meanwhile, I look over at the other lines which the cute customs agents are manning. Keita and Kim are being grilled by them, it doesnt look fun. My impulse is to go over and translate, but that wouldn`t look good. I go to the baggage claim and start rounding up everybodys bags.

Finally, we are all ready to go. I get on line for taxis, and practice in my head how I can ask for the flat rate in French. By the taxis, I see my customs agent with some other customs agents on a cigarette break. I go ask him about the taxi stuff, and he asks for a footbag demo. Masa steps up and without warming up, does a nice string with ducks, pixies, and flying clippers. The agents are duly impressed. I tell them that Masa is the Japanese champ. We get cabs, give em directions, and finally are on our way. The cabbie tells me the forecast for the next day is good, which is reassuring because 2 Team Japan members are leaving early, so that is their only chance to do the Tam Tam Jam.

When we pull up the UQAM residences I immediately think about the footage from 98, where MacKenzie goes off in the lobby. I look around, but nobody is there. We check in and dump our stuff in the rooms before going to find food. At Newark, with our layover time, Team Japan worked out a complicated schedule to determine who would sleep in the doubles, and who would get singles on which nights. It worked out so that if you were competing, you would get the single the night before. On our way out to get food, we run into the first footbagger of the tournament. It`s Caleb Abraham, and I`m proud I recognized him so quickly. I hadn`t seen him since maybe PST OFF 2, like 3 years ago. I mis-pronounce his name the whole week as usual, and he never corrects me, as usual.

The streets are hopping, and if there wasnt tam-tam the next day, and jet-lag, I would be tempted to go clubbing. Instead, we go to St. Denis, and Im happy to find that the Couche Tarde (24HR convenience store) and my favorite middle-eastern restaurant are still where they were 2 years ago. I get a shish-taouk sandwich and some baklava, and reflect that the last time I was there, I had a triple mohawk (Overground). Team Japan tries my baklava, which is something they`d never had. They dig it. We go back, and I go to bed with Henmo.

Next morning Henmo and I wake up mad early, due to a combination of Jet Lag and excitement. I can`t wait to go to Tam-tam. After unsuccessfully trying to get back to sleep, we decide to go for a walk. We leave a note for team Japan, and I draw a picture of Godzilla kicking a footbag.

We walk down Ste. Catherine, and I show him the building where I lived for a summer. We walk down to the gay quarter, and eat scones and coffee for breakfast. I marvel at what a great word the French have for blueberries: bleuets. Sounds like somebody puking.

` What did you eat for breakfast Ken?`
`bleuets!`
` Jesus man! Tell me, don`t show me!`

I try and speak in English with Henmo, so he gets in some practice before meeting other footbaggers. Its really weird speaking in English with Team Japan. We go buy some fresh bread, and I`m struck by the weirdness of hearing songs I know on the radio. I`m used to hearing Japanese songs in stores, so its odd recognizing and humming along to Beatles or whatnot while my bread is sliced. We get home and I nap some, and Im woken by Team Japan chattering with Henmo about our morning odyssey.

Down in the lobby, I run into Brad Nelson, Bob, and John Mahood. My WV crew! I feel like I`m back at Funtastiks or East Coasts back in the day. I introduce Japan to everybody, which is fun. I`m proud I remember how to get to Tam-tams. I always loved the tam tam jam. When i get there, there are already some circles of people playing. I see Chris Kovacs playing, and I recognize him from his style from one of ThomASS` videos.
`You`re Chris Kovacs!`
`Yeah....who are you?`
D`oh! Maybe I should have accepted BAP so I could be all famous and shit.

It is a bit overwhelming seeing so many shredders, especially so many I havent seen in so long. Jim Penske walks up to me and introduces himself. I`m immediately taken by his friendly, easy-going manner. I also finally meet Johnny Murphy. About 4 years ago, he wrote to the footbag.org/listserve asking if anybody had size 7.5 lavers. I sent him a pair of new, modified milleniums, and a pair of my old regular lavers. Apparently, he put them to good use. I played with him in my first circle of 2004 worlds, and I was very impressed. Ripstein this, spinning ducking that, nuclear whatever. He has a real springy bounce to his game which I really like.

I meet Dave Clavens, which I`m stoked about. I`d been urging him to come to worlds via the internet for a long time, and it was cool to meet him and see him shred so hard. I jump in a circle with him and Chris Kovacs, and then go off to get some water. I`m mostly over my cold, but I feel like I need a drink of water after every other string.

I say hi to Chad, who I hadnt seen since Westerns 2001(?!), and eventually hop into a circle with him, Penske, Scott Bevier, and Kevin Regamey. It`s my first time playing with Penske, and I`m real impressed. He hits swifter to symposium whirl, which just is uber-styly. I`m impressed by Kevin too, he hits some big moves, and overall just didnt seem intimidated, even though he was between Scott and Chad. Scott bails out of a blurry whirl with a crispy drifter- it was obvious he was going for something bigger after the set, but bailed to clipper. He keeps playing, and in inimitable casual Scott style says `I don`t care` as he keeps going. That really cracks me up. All week I was real impressed with Beviers variety and consistency. I step out of the circle for a bit to go watch `nerd-bashing.`

Further up the hill, there is a clearing, perpetually under a cloud of dust. When the dust periodically settles, you can see two large groups of people (young men mostly), who are all wielding swords, hatchets, clubs, shields...even bows and arrows- all made of duct tape. I kid you not. Some of these guys are wearing duct-tape armor, or midevil-style cloaks. And every few minutes, they emit a mighty roar (yawp?) as they charge at each other and beat each other senseless. Often, its not clear which sides are which, and nobody stays `dead` very long. I sit down with Sebastien, Ianek, Xavier, Bevier and some other freestylers and watch the carnage. Bevier and I debate who has the best costume, and decide on one guy who has football style shoulderpads over a tattered midevil cloak, which clearly shows his boxers below. It doesnt help that he looks like Matt Stone`s brother. I have a real good time laughing at the spectacle, until somebody points out that there appear to be more girls in the `nerd-bashing` scene than in the footbag scene. A very sobering thought indeed.

I go back to the tams to watch and maybe play some more. My plan to beat jetlag is to get as much sun and play as much footbag as possible, and force myself to stay awake til bedtime. Penske and Chad are still in the same circle, and Honza and Vasek have joined them. Its a fun circle to watch, but I get the distinct impression that Vasek isnt really trying very hard. Often, he would try a ridiculous move and come real close, and when he`d get a rebate pass, he`d just do a long run instead of trying the move again. Some of the tricks he comes close to include: symposium furious double switch, symp whirling ripstein, archnemesis-swirl, and gyro shooting spinning something. Ripstein looks real easy for him (like a swirling set swirl), and his symposium flurry is amazingly consistent. I see him hit scorpion`s tail swirl, which is badass. The best combo I see him hit that day is frankenstein-double blender-superfly.

Masa eventually steps in the circle, and plays as well as he can. I`m real proud of him for not being intimidated, considering how badass a circle it is. Honza hits alpine food no problem. A big crowd assembles to watch, including lots of non-footbaggers. Eventually, Masa tags out and Henmo tags in. It takes him a while to feel comfy, but shortly he`s busting nice runs. I yell out `Osaka!` in my best Capcom vs. SNK2 voice. Team Japan is reppin`!

To be continued...